Love or Infatuation?

1) Test of Time
--Love takes time.
--Infatuation can seemingly come from nowhere without a time investment.

2) Test of Knowledge
--Love comes with full knowledge of another.
--Infatuation needs no knowledge (sometimes not even a name!)

3) Test of Focus
--Love is other-person centered.
--Infatuation is me centered.

4) Test of Singularity
--Love is expressed to only one person.
--Infatuation may be experienced with more that one person.

5) Test of Security
--Love trusts and isn't jealous.
--Infatuation lacks security by lacking knowledge and therefore is jealous.

6) Test of Work
--Love works together to achieve goals and improve each individual and the relationship.
--Infatuation lacks accomplishment and can cause an individual to struggle.

7) Test of Problem Solving
--Love confronts problems and solves them intentionally.
--Infatuation glosses problems over and ignores red and yellow flags.

8) Test of Distance
--Love remains secure.
--Infatuation loses its appeal and finds someone new.

9) Test of Physical Attraction Involvement
--Love has physical contact as expressive and representative of commitment.
--Infatuation uses physical contact selfishly and as a means to its own end.

10) Test of Affection
--Love means affection comes relatively late in the relationship.
--Infatuation is oftentimes founded on affection.

11) Test of Stability
--Love endures ups and downs and isn't affected by how the wind blows.
--Infatuation is insecure and not at all stable.

12) Test of Delayed Gratification
--Love doesn't feel an irresistable urge toward haste because it sees preparation.
--Infatuation desires rushing and sees waiting as deprivation.

From "Love, Sex, and Last Relationships" by Chip Ingram, Living on the Edge